The Wheel of Change

Life has been very interesting of late. I have come to know and believe a few things. The more you believe in yourself and your abilities, the more others will as well. It started when I took this job. I told myself I deserved a good boss – and I got it. I had been doing some work on the side for a the company I previously worked for. I decided it was no longer a good use of my time, because the pay was very low. I terminated our agreement. They then came back to me and asked me what my rate was.

You have to understand a year and half ago, I was so low and had no self-esteem and took the first offer they gave. And, it was very low. So low, we barely made the bills. We sold anything that we didn’t need. Now, I will make 20% of a person’s salary that I place with them. The wheel of fortune has turned. The say karma is cyclical – and sometimes it takes lifetimes to see the pattern of it. I am fortunate to have it turn in less than two years. It is a lesson learned for me – no one will value you more than you value yourself – so make that value great.

I got it. :)

A Good Fit

How do you know when you have a good fit with someone? I have pondered that question more often than I can to think about.
I am doing some contract recruiting for a woman in TX. She owns her own firm, and is only paying me commission on those people I place. Naturally, my paying job comes first, then if I have time and the energy I work on her things. She knew that from the beginning, but now I can tell she is getting upset that I am not spending enough time on her things. She is stressed – I understand – but I can not jeopardize my “paying” job right now. People have told me to stick it out and continue to work with her because the payoff is good.
What I am trying to decide is it worth it? Is a bad fit worth the money?

Do we do someone a favor by fighting their battles for them?

My father passed away last year and my mom fell apart for awhile. My dad was the decision maker in the family and even if my mom didn’t like it, she went along with it to keep peace in the family (I still don’t think I am related to her.)

Now that she is alone, my oldest sister is trying to take that place. She has to go to every doctors appointment with my mom, she tells the doctor that my mom is failing and she needs to give up driving and move to retirement community, and the doctor believes her. It is bullshit. My mom has slowed down, and does forget things, but she doesn’t have full blown Alzheimers yet, and she can see and drive fine. I keep telling her to tell my sister to back off, but she says she can’t and hopes one of us will do it for her.

I am torn. I think my oldest sister is a bitch, and she loves to order people around. She has succeeded in alienated all of her siblings, so none of us will talk to her. She also has power of attorney for my mom’s things, so she knows when she takes $20 out to get groceries. I would love nothing better than to confront her on all of this and tell her to back off. But there is another part of me that says my mom needs and can stand up for herself. It is also hard because I no longer live in WI – I moved back to CA. In her words, I left again. Sigh…

I believe we all come to this earth to learn lessons. If I fight the battle for my mom, and I cheating her out of learning this lesson? Or is it my lesson to fight for her?

 

I have been away for a very long time. But now it is time to come back.

I had been a very active blogger for many years.  I am not sure why I stopped. I think I may have run out of things to say for awhile. Or, I was afraid to say what I really felt. Or maybe I felt like no one was listening.

I now realize I don’t care what people think about what I say or if anyone really listens. I know I have to put these thoughts down on paper so I can stop them from filling up my head. Here we go…